Retirement planning is hard. Sure, there are simple techniques anyone can use to map a path. Yet those techniques require data and effort. Most people don’t want to spend precious free time crunching numbers and making tough, life-impacting decisions. Most people – myself included – would rather find someone who can just take care of it. You know, a Guy (here used in the gender-neutral sense).

I know more than a few people who have found their Guy: a personal finance manager who promises to make retirement all anyone could ever hope for. They’ve got products that minimize risk and maximize gain. They promise they can beat the market and, in return, ask for a mere few points off the top. You know, for the effort.

I don’t buy it for a second.

BIAS WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IS REASONABLY DESCRIBED AS A "RANT" REQUIRING LARGE GRAINS OF SALT TO BE APPLIED LIBERALLY

I want to know why someone offers advice. If the words come from friends or family, I can assume benevolent intent (for the most part). If I walk into a fancy office with expensive suits roaming about, I have to ask myself: who pays for that? Answer: the client – e.g., you or me.

The trick is you need to know how you’re paying for advice. Are you paying an hourly or per-project fee for their expertise? Or is your Guy making a commission from a product they’re selling? If the latter, what controls are in place to ensure your interests – and not those of the Guy salesperson – are considered above all else? Follow the money.

The Guy isn’t inherently evil (probably). They’re doing a job that incentivizes (or, in the case of quotas, threatens) them into making sales. The Guy might even convince themselves that the product is the best-damned thing ever. Since it’s your money, remember the best cons always believe their own game. Ask them if they get paid with a commission and how often it is drawn (at product sale, annually, withdrawal, etc.). Ask what happens if the product drops in value. Does the Guy lose money, or just you? Trust but verify. Repeatedly.

Commissions aren’t the only hidden danger. With opaque and misleading 401k fees, we’ve learned that finance folk find clever ways to skim your savings in nearly imperceptible ways. No matter how good the product sounds (especially if it sounds too good), you must remember that financial products are often structured to secure the firm’s reward without sharing your risk. Just like in Vegas, the house always wins. Make sure you know how fees are assessed, how they are withdrawn, and if any can be waived.

If you must have a Guy, it is vital you completely understand how they are paid. You need to know if they share the pain or only the gain. You need clear and precise disclosure of fees. And you need to look closely at how they’ll pull off some financial hat-trick. If your Guy can’t explain it in a way that makes sense to you, the product may not be so great despite how it’s being sold.

All this homework somewhat defeats the purpose of finding a Guy in the first place. The problem is that unscrupulous “advisors” prey on people intimidated by financial planning. I don’t mean to suggest all institutional advisors are cons, but sadly, enough of them are to make financial ignorance particularly dangerous.

The alternative to finding a Guy is just doing it yourself. If you have to do homework anyway, why not go all in? I’m a big fan of DIY retirement planning supplemented by the expertise of certified fiduciary planners who are required by law to put client interests first. CFPs can draw up a complete plan based on your goals or, as was true in my case, have them check the math of a plan you created. Regardless of where you sit in the DIY spectrum, CFPs are paid by you and you alone. If they get a commission from a product sale, they’re not a CFP, no matter what their business card says. Learn more about CFPs and, like most essential projects, talk to a few providers to find the perfect fit for your needs.

PS – Shona Martin at Fidalgo Financial was our CFP and we couldn’t have been happier with the advice she provided! Add your recommendations in the comments for others seeking qualified CFP advisors.